Zero Men's Face Lotion
Zero Men's Face Lotion

ZeroUnscented Face Lotion

Corpses don't use face lotion. Grown a** men do. Zero toxic drag. Just all-day hydration that actually works with your skin, not against it.

  • Subscriber pricing. Always.
  • Autoships every quarter (90 days)
  • Pause, skip or cancel anytime.
  • Inside info. Early access.

Order before 3p ET and your order ships today!

  • Your face takes the same beating the rest of you does. Shea butter and squalane go to work on dryness and texture without leaving you looking like you tried too hard. Caffeine tightens, brightens, and tells puffiness to find someone else to bother. Witch hazel keeps oil in check, especially for the guys who sweat, shave, and actually live in their skin. No fragrance. No toxic drag. Just a face that looks like it belongs to a man who has his s**t together.

    Zero toxic drag. Full performance. Act accordingly.

    NET WT. 3.3 fl oz / 100 ml

  • Water, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Glycerin, Propanediol, Glyceryl Stearate, Cetyl Alcohol, Polyglyceryl-2 Stearate, Cellulose, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Stearyl Alcohol, Glyceryl Caprylate, Sodium Gluconate, Potassium Sorbate, Xanthan Gum, Caffeine, Squalane, Citric Acid, Caprylhydroxamic Acid, Sodium Hyaluronate, Hamamelis Virginiana (Witch Hazel) Leaf Extract.

Build My Box
Man bathing in a hotrod

Skincare
for men
who don’t
skincare.
Until now.

Your skin barrier was broken. Past tense.

Inside The Chemical Cartel Boardroom
Play

Live Loud, Die Clean

The Chemical Cartel Hates You

They may even be trying to kill you. Why else would they put all that toxic $&!t in their products? Do they make a quick buck at your expense...?

People Are Asking.

  • Because your face takes the same beating as the rest of you and gets none of the attention. This puts the moisture back, plain and simple. Corpses do not use face lotion. Grown men should.

  • Morning and night, or at the very least once a day after you wash your face. Takes ten seconds.

  • It is built for your face and neck, but it will not hurt you anywhere else. Patch test first if your skin is fussy.

  • Look for a formula centered on non-comedogenic, hydrating ingredients.

    • Hydrators: Seek out humectants like Hyaluronic Acid and emollients like Shea Butter or Jojoba Oil that mimic the skin's natural oils.
    • Clean & Lightweight: The best formulas are often non-greasy and labeled as non-comedogenic (won't clog pores).
    • Avoid: Prioritize formulas free from synthetic fragrances, harsh alcohols, and irritating dyes.

  • Absolutely, yes. Men's skin is often thicker, produces more oil, and is subjected to daily stress from shaving, which disrupts the skin barrier. Using a moisturizer is essential for replacing lost hydration, reducing post-shave irritation, and protecting the skin from environmental damage. A good moisturizer keeps the skin supple, comfortable, and prevents the premature appearance of fine lines.

  • Yes, regular moisturizing is the simplest and most effective anti-aging step. Dry skin emphasizes wrinkles and fine lines, making them look deeper and more prominent. A quality hydrating moisturizer instantly plumps the skin with moisture, softening the appearance of these lines. Furthermore, consistent hydration supports the skin's barrier function, protecting the underlying collagen and reducing the long-term impact of aging factors.

The essentials before the inevitable

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